water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how
things used to be....
Here are some facts about the 1500s:
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath
in May, and, still, smelled pretty good by June. However, they were
starting to smell, so, brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide
the body odor.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the
house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then, all the other
sons and men, then, the women and, finally, the children -- last of
all the babies.
By then, the water was so dirty you could, actually, lose someone in it
-- hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."
Houses had thatched roofs--thick straw, piled high, with no wood,
underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so, all the
dogs, cats, and other small animals (mice rats, and bugs), lived in the
roof. When it rained, it became slippery and, sometimes, the animals
would slip and fall off the roof-- hence the saying "It's raining cats
and dogs."
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This
posed a real problem in the bedroom, where bugs and other droppings
could, really, mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big
posts and a sheet hung over the top, afforded some protection. That's
how canopy beds came into existence.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt,
hence the saying "dirt poor."
The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter,
when wet, so, they spread thresh on the floor to help keep their
footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh until
when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A
piece of wood was placed in the entry way --hence, a "thresh hold."
They cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the
fire. Every day, they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They
ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the
stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and,
then, start over the next day. Sometimes, the stew had food in it, that
had been there for quite a while--hence the rhyme, "peas porridge hot,
peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special.
When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off.
It was a sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon."
They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit
around and "chew the fat."
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with a high acid
content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead
poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so, for
the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Most people did not have pewter plates, but, had trenchers, a piece of
wood with the middle scooped out like a bowl. Often, trenchers were
made from stale paysan bread, which was so old and hard that they could
use them for quite some time. Trenchers were never washed, and, a lot
of times, worms and mold got into the wood and old bread. After eating
off wormy moldy trenchers, one would get "trench mouth."
Bread was divided, according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom
of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or,
"upper crust."
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would,
sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along
the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They
were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family
would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would
wake up-hence the custom of holding a "wake."
England is old and small, and, they started out running out of places
to bury people. So, they would dig up coffins and would take the bones
to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins,
one out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside,
and, they realized they had been burying people alive. So, they thought
they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the
coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would
have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to
listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell", or,
was considered a "dead ringer."
Blonde Horseback Riding!
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If Men Ruled The World
Rum Cake!
In The Beginning
One Smart Baby
Why God Made Eve
Blondes Are Smart!
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Your Fly Is Open!
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Wish You Could Say At Work
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Why Men Die Early
What To Buy Your Man
Virtual Bubble Wrap
The Village Idiot
Used Car
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The Traffic Ticket
A Touching Story
45 Oxymorons
Tongue Twister
Tired and Overworked
Thinking Test
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Super Cute Kittens!
Sunday School
Summer Job I want
Icy Hot Stuntaz
Her Side Of The Story
Starwars Ganster Rap
Squirrel Goes Weeeee
Spank The Monkey
Smile!!!!!
Who Is Smarter?
The Flying Thief
The Smart Test
Skin Crawling Spiral!
Shovel Knocks Him Out
Fun Shooting Game
Sex Mathematics
Selling Lettuce
Funny School Project
Santa Gets Stuck
Santa Dance
Relaxing Is Important
How To Relax
Redneck Slang
Rednecks Suck
Punch The Doughboy
Printer Jammed!
Priceless Pictures!
All About Poopie
What Not To Say To A Cop
PMS Is Bad
Pick-up Joke
Personality Test
Funny Personal Ads
The Perfect Woman
The Perfect Day
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Stupid Parrot!
Internet Parking Ticket!
Male Vs. Female
Oreo Personality Test
Optical Illusions
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Old Man Viagra
Old Man On A Moped
How To Change Oil =)
How To Anger A Female
Nose Picking Glossary
North Vs. South
Nickname Generator
The Next Day
Newspaper Clippings
Security Stooges
Name That Part
You Kicked My Dog!
Mr. Push Me
Moooo
What Mommy Taught Me!
Miniature Golf!
Have A Milkshake!
Crazy Microsoft?
Melting Princess
Maxi Pad Joke
Mario Twins!!! Cool
Dubyuh Is A Monkey
Who Needs Men?
Make A Wish
Mad Cow Disease
Fun Answering Machine
You Are Lucky
Love Compatibility Test
Lonely Asian
Licoln Vs. Kennedy
Life Lessons
Life Explained
Redneck Application! Crazy Southerners =)
Kitty Grin : )
Kitty Plays With You
Crazy Kids Book
IRS Warning!
Investment Advice
The Insanity Test!
In A Man
Look For The Shark
Awesome Illusion
If They Had Kids
The Idiot Test
I love My Job!
I Quit My Job
Washing The Cat
High Tech Grandma
Hidden Picture!
Happy Couple
Hangover Ratings
Hahahaha
Great Truths
Good Wife In The 1500s
Good Luck
Golf Fanatic
God Will Provide
Go To Work Naked
Gifts For Dumb Men
A Gift For You
Hello My Future Girlfriend
Funny Newspaper Ads
Funny Instructions
Having Fun At Work
Martian Sex! COOL
Pass The Fruitcake
Fridays In Hell
You Are An Idiot
Very Flattering Page
Burning The Flag Is Dumb
Virtual Finger
Facts From The 1500s
Facts Of Life
Guide To Ex-Girlfriends
Enjoy Your Easter
Elephants, Elephants
All About The Elderly
Ego Booster Machine
Learn To Be Black
Dumbest People Ever
Top 10 Dumb Criminals
Getting Drunk Is Crazy!
Driving Like An Idiot
Dumb Driving Genders
Driving A Man Crazy
Drinkers Alphabet
Poke The Doughboy
The Job Application
Dogs and Men
My Dog Named Sex
Did You Know?
Did You Ever Wonder
Stupid Chick
Dancing Bush
Make A Hunk
Make A Babe
Scary Ghost
Crazy Camera... Makes You Ugly
Cyber Beer... LOL
You Will Cry
Cooties
Cool Quiz
Too Much Coffee!
Choosing A Urinal
Which Picture Do You Like Best
Why Chocolate Rocks
Hot Chicks!! LOL
Learn Chinese
Chet The Talking Parrot
Cats Vs. Dogs
Men Are Liars =)
Cat Commandments
How To Keep A Blonde Busy
Bush Quotes
Britney Syndrome
Britney Dance
Brain Teasers
Bounce and Coke
All About Boobs
The Boob Poem
Blondes Are Dumb
The Blind Man
Better Than Sex
Beer Goggles
Beer On The Wall
Beary Great
In The Barn
Barbie Got Back
Piggy Bank
Dancing Banana
Bounce The Ball
Bad Teletubbies
Bad Driver
Backstreet is Gay OMG
Baby Boomers
Baby / Kid Comics
Zee Artist
Arnold Soundboard
Are you an idiot?
Why We Need Friends
Not Another Greeting Card!
Stuff That Annoys Me
Beer Poem
An Amazing Vision! Wow
Advice To Men From Women
Learn Your ABCs
A Mystery Solved
The 5th Floor
3d Pong Game
Tetris!! SO COOL
Very Awesome Page
Women SUCK
Create A Ride Part TWO
A Wuv Story
This Is Your Life
The Freshmaker
Food For Thought
Doggies are stupid
Ninja Fighting Game
Ninja Shooting Game
Ninja Button Pushing Game
Ninja Fighting Video 2
Ninja Fighting Video 3
Ninja Fighting Video 4
Ninja Fighting Video 5
Enron VoiceMail System
Bush Pretzel Game
Bad Spanish Dictionary
Is Your Son a Computer Hacker?
Devil Fuckin
All Your Base Are Belong To Us